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Marriage Infidelity Cheating
Spouses Can T Hide Their Extramarital Affairs From The
Truth
We all lie. A world without little white lies would be
uncivilized. But 99% of us have told bigger lies in our
lifespan. For most of us, lies told in our personal life makes
us feel bad. However, we still continue to lie and cheat.
Few events cause as much turmoil in a marriage as infidelity,
which can reduce a marriage to rubble, shatter trust and create
a breeding ground for insecurity, mistrust and resentment. Most
of us have witnessed affairs among people we know, and some of
us even have had affairs ourselves. This kind of thing happens
in the real world, and it happens all the time. One third of
all married couples admit to having cheated on their mates.
Let's not be naïve. That's quite a large number of people
taking risks!
Affairs begin with two people who find each other interesting
and attractive. For whatever reason, the relationship escalates
into romance and, finally, into sexual intimacy. People who
seek romance and sexual intimacy outside of their primary
relationship feel that their relationship is missing something,
so they go out and they seek it from someone else.
If you feel deep in your heart, that your spouse is lying and
being unfaithful to you, here are some ways to be sure. One of
the techniques professionals use to tell who is lying, and who
is telling the truth is to follow eye movements.
Neuro-Linguistic Programming says that when people are
constructing imaginary or fantasy images we look up and to the
left if we are right-handed and up and to the right if we are
left-handed. Think, "What color is my Mom’s hair?" Where did
your eyes go? Now think, "I’m an astronaut and when I went to
the moon I made a snow-man out of moon dust." Where did your
eyes go this time?
In the book, Telling Lies by lie-catcher Paul Ekman, he
presents his 'facial action coding system.' These are the
facial expressions we all use that are hard-wired to the brain
and will show up without our conscious control. Charles Bond, a
psychologist at Texas Christian University reported that among
2,520 adults surveyed in 6.3 countries, more than 70% believe
that liars tend to avert their gazes and/or stutter, touch, or
scratch themselves or tell longer stories than usual.
If you’re spouse is working too many late nights, think about
this next time you ask them what their plans are for the
night.
Although, there has been some research lately that says this
analysis is too simplistic to be counted upon, detectives
continue to use it along with other tools. There was a story in
Outside Magazine about a detective involved in an investigation
of a poaching in a national park. He claimed he could tell
within one minute if someone was lying. I got very excited and
tracked him down to a sub-station in Wyoming. He said that he
teaches his skills to trainees in one hour but he wouldn’t tell
me what they were. Maybe he thought I was a secret poacher
(which is hard to be in Santa Barbara)
Here are some other ways to tell if your partner or spouse
is lying and having an extramarital affair:
- If their answer to your question is
brief, clear, and direct, that is a good sign that it is
true.
- Liars start to elaborate and repeat
themselves and sometimes their story or the details
change.
- The more a liar tries, the more you
need to worry.
An extramarital affair takes a great deal of energy. The lying,
sneaking around, and destroying of evidence all take tremendous
amounts of energy. The onset of guilty feelings about having
the affair, in the first place, further zaps whatever energy
the partner having the affair might still have left. And, guess
what all this used energy is a complete waste, because liars
cannot control the ‘leakage’ of their true feelings, which run
in micro-expressions that last half a second. It is so
ordinary, so much a part of our everyday lives and everyday
conversations that we hardly notice it.
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Please report any
broken links to: info@endlessrelationships.com
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