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Online Dating Success
StoriesDating can be
terrifying for anyone: meeting new people, putting one’s
heart (and ego!) on the line, investing time and energy
into relationships you’re not even sure will work out. But
it is especially difficult for those who have been hurt
before.
“My ex-husband cheated on me several times before we finally
got divorced,” recalls Emma, 28. “I was so afraid to trust
someone again.” Through online dating, she was able to get to
know men at a much slower, more comfortable pace. “We’d
exchange emails, call each other, until I was personally ready
to meet them face to face,” she said. “I didn’t feel rushed to
make a decision. I had full control every step of the way.” It
took her 3 months before she agreed to have lunch with Steve.
They’ve been together for 2 years, and they’re already talking
about getting married.
Cecille, 25, had never been comfortable about the traditional
dating scene. She’s always been shy, and the whole routine of
hanging out in the bar and waiting for someone to buy her
drinks was never her thing. “Besides, I’m the kind of girl that
prefers reading a book in a quiet coffee shop,” she said.
Online dating allowed her to meet people in a way that suited
her personality—at her laptop, while sipping a cappuccino—and
she worded her profile so she’d meet the guys who shared her
love for reading. In fact, when she read Ben (her current
boyfriend)’s email, the first thing that caught her attention
was that they liked the same authors. “You don’t get that kind
of ‘precision matchmaking’ in a bar,” she laughs.
Greg, 35, enjoys online dating because it puts him on a level
playing field. “You really get to know people for who they
are,” he said. He feels in traditional dating the first few
dates focus too much on impressing each other, saying the right
things, wearing the right clothes. But when you email and chat,
what you pay attention to is the person’s attitude and
personality. “You don’t have to wait until the fourth or fifth
date to discover if you think alike,” he said.
On the other hand, Tori, 32, chose online dating because she
wanted a little adventure in her life. “I live in a small town
where you’ve known everyone since you were a little girl. It’s
hard to meet anyone new, and if you go on a date, it’s big
gossip the next day.” While she’s not ready for anything
serious, she’s enjoying talking to different kinds of people
from all around the world. “One of the men I really clicked
with lives in Spain!” she said. “He’s so different from anyone
I’ve ever known, but at the same time, he understands me more
than even my family does!” She’s planning to take a month off
from work to visit him.
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