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Perfect Husband For A Russian
Girl
Lucky for me, when these questions began swarming in my head, a
good girlfriend of mine, who has lived in Italy for a number of
years, was in town to visit her family. So, instead of digging
through piles of statistics and wracking my brain to get the
information so interesting for me, I contacted her and loaded
her brain with all the questions.
Before I move on, let me make myself clear: by no means does
this article include motives and wants of every bride,
who submits her profile to a marriage agency. And I will be the
first to encourage the foreigners: try be be as cautious as
possible if you decided to apply to a marriage agency. In the
past, some Russian ladies from the FSU countries have provided
more than enough negative publicity (read my article on scams
in Lugansk city, Ukraine), but don't let that discourage you
and miss out on a chance to gift someone the pleasure of
communication and a possibility to find love. With that in
mind, I proceed…
When I began questioning the motives of women who take a chance
on marriage agencies, my first discovery was quite disturbing.
One of the main explanations for the FSU women to like
foreigners is that men from their native countries... aren't
good enough. There are a lot of bad stories about the life of
Russian girls in foreign countries. Why not admit that the
reason is in those men at home, who, in my opinion, don't know
what a family is?" - said Natasha commenting on the article in
one of the leading Russian papers, which blamed marriages to
the foreigners. "Unfortunately, there are a lot of things the
'Russian' men would have to do to keep up with the foreigners."
Some bridal agencies will give you the same information. An
American journalist, who took a "Romance tour to find a Russian
bride" trip to Ukraine as a part of his investigation for a
story, says in his on-line journal that the instructor on the
tour explained to him: Ukrainian and Russian men "drink,
philander, alternately beat and neglect women."
Obviously, not every FSU man treats women this way.
Nevertheless, a general conception that most http://www.oksanalove.com>Russian
brides/Ukrainian women share of the men in their home
countries comes down to a few common words: irresponsible,
hard-hearted, too demanding and not willing to provide for
their children, let alone their mother. Throughout history
Russian women have been famous for the way they treated
their family. They are loving, devoted and caring, and,
coming to a marriage agency they dream to find someone like
themselves to create a strong happy family.
The other thing noticed by Natasha during her three-year-long
marriage to a foreigner: To tell you the truth, marrying him I
didn't think about living in Italy... But for Italians the
family is very-very important and they put a great emphasis on
the family values. That meant a lot to me. Foreigners in
general seem to be more serious about family and children,
unlike the men at home."
In line with a lack of quality of the FSU men, there is also a
lack of quantity. The year 2002 gave us a discouraging
statistics showing the ratio men-women 46, nothing has much
changed since then. Given that a large part of these 46% are
people who can't be counted on for love, care and support, it
leaves the ladies of Russia and Ukraine very little to chose
from. Obviously, when something you need is not in sight, you
look to broader horizons.
"All the good ones have been snatched away long ago, your
chances to find someone in this country after you turn 25 are
next to nil," Natasha mused over a cup of coffee (she married
her Italian sweetheart at the age of 29). "It seems the guys
(in Ukraine) disappear when they turn 30."
On the top of all said, the appreciation of their own
femininity sets the FSU women apart from American or European
ladies. A lot of men can see that the FSU women are different.
And this is not only about their outer beauty that is so
well-known. These ladies like to look pretty, it is not unusual
for them to wear a dress and pumps on a regular basis, they
care about their body and like to be attractive. Bottom line,
they want to be feminine, not feminist.
The FSU women cherish being a "weak gender", which for them
means taking care of their family in the first place, as well
as being cared for and appreciated. Promises of that seem to be
given in abundance by Americans and Europeans, many of whom
share an opinion that it has been too long since Western women
have shown any aspiration to cherish the softer side of the
"weaker gender". The men abroad consider the tender feminine
side of Russian women a great advantage comparing to Western
women mad about careers and getting equal with men. Even some
FSU men notice that the foreigners are attracted by "their"
women because they "remain women, not some emancipated
feminists, like in the West".
Natasha dreamily remembers her very first visitings Italy:
"When I was in Italy I was treated like a princess surrounded
with attention, that I missed so much from our men. I think
there is so much beauty (in Russia), that our men are simply
used to it, it is mundane to them, they forget about simple
compliments… Italians value beauty."
After all this, what can I say to the men in search of their
destiny? It all comes down to what you are looking for. No
doubt, there will be some money-hungry vamps, eager to trap
you. If you want to find a woman for one night it is not a
problem neither in Ukraine or Russia nor anywhere else in the
world. But if you are looking for a woman who will respect you,
relish her family and be as smart as she is pretty, the chances
of you finding that in Ukraine or Russia are greater than at
any other place.
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