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Relationship Commitment
Errors
COMMITMENT: A ten letter word consisting of 3 vowels and 7
consonants; a word that symbolises union, loyalty, monogamy,
togetherness, love, mutual respect and perhaps all those
priceless sentiments which we hold in such high esteem. It's a
word almost always associated with marriage; a word that means
so much in theory. Yet in practice is so more often than not
reduced to a mere string of alphabetical letters.
Marriages today are crumbling for lack of commitment. So why
get married in the first place if you have no intention of
being loyal? Most 'contemporary' women, it seems, have
tuned into 'Desperate Housewives'. The infamous line of "It
meant nothing. It was just sex' being the buzz. Yes, times are
hard, there is too much temptation, we are only human, and we
all make mistakes. But there are some who actually think it's
OK to sleep around because it really is just sex. At the end of
the day, they are going home to their to their partner; they
are providing for their partner, they are 'committed' to their
partner. So what's the bid deal?
The irony is it is a big deal. Because commitment is clearly no
longer what it used to be, the word has developed a whole new
meaning. It's rarely about being together in sickness and
health, for richer or poorer etc. Today, it's about selfish
needs. Marriage now rests on 'convenience'.
Confusing the C word...
Mention the 'C' word and you are bound to get varied responses.
A sexy bombshell, who has been in a couple of high-profile
romance says, "It means everything to me." while her equally
sexy sister says, "It's just become a word". Another heartthrob
candidly confesses that six months ago, he would have been
working his charm on the ladies but today, he is in a serious
relationship and doesn't want to break his sweetheart's trust,
especially since his track record sucks!
A young hottie sincerely feels 'he can keep love and sex
separate'. He believes that he can never ever love another, yet
he has faltered on occasions simply for physical reasons. He
calls it 'A momentary flirtation'. His lifelong "commitment" is
to only one lady. What does this prove? Utter confusion and a
warped sense of values!
Totally committed...
But fear not, for there is hope yet. Nick and Christopher, a
married couple, says you can never go wrong if you marry your
best friend. They would never abuse each other's trust.
Jonathan, who has been married for three years, explains
although there is temptation, he wouldn't cheat on his partner
simply because of his faith in God and respect for his partner.
Jim can't bear the thought of his wife cheating on him. Is he
tempted? No, because the mere thought of her leaving him along
with the kids, if he ever faltered, is worse than death!
Commitment phobia...
There are others who are afraid of 'settling down'. Steve, 40,
remains a bachelor because he is not ready to settle down. He
is an incredible man who has the distinction of being friends
with every single one of his ex-girlfriends, simply because he
has never lied to them about 'commitment'. Today, the 'C' word
has multiple meanings. One only hoped it wouldn't equate to
multiple partners!
Why people stay in a relationship or a marriage?
A relationship depends on how one views it. When married, it
becomes a special investment, which also has religious
connotations. Being with a person for a long period of time
gives rise to emotions like affection and love. So people are
compromise at the sake of their values. Also, a sense of
security comes into play. But selfish motives can also allow a
person to stick around for functional purposes.
Why are people scared of making a commitment?
People scared of committing usually suffer from some
deep-seated emotional problems. A basic sense of insecurity
could also lead to a situation wherein a partner is not willing
to commit. While you can't say whether its men or women who are
less likely to commit, the most obvious reason as to why people
are scared to commit is the lack of mutual trust.
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