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Stress And Weddings The
Making Of BridezillaEvery
girl dreams of having the perfect wedding. From childhood
we are bombarded these images of perfection in glamorous
celebrity weddings whose unlimited budgets are reflected in
the designer gowns, lavish jewelry, multitude of guests,
and sumptuous buffet. For example, take Lady Diana
Spencer's wedding to the Prince of Wales in 1981. During
the so-called wedding of the century, she wore a designer
dress with a long train that cascaded down the aisle of
Westminster Abbey with matching velvet shoes adorned with
diamond buckles. It seemed to us like a fairy tale come
true---a princess has finally found her prince.
And so from these images we begin building our own vision of
the perfect wedding. Whether large or small, we visualize every
detail of this fantastic event, from the exact shade of white
for the gowns to the particular recipe we want to use for the
dessert course. For some women, the need to make everything
about the day perfect has turned many a lovely bride into a
creature known as Bridezilla. Bridezillas make an already
stressful time in their lives even more stressful. And when the
bride is stressed, everyone around her becomes stressed as
well. These creatures subsist on nothing but their wedding
plans and expect those around them to do the same. The lives of
Bridezilla's friends and family depend on whether or not she
gets what she wants, no matter how expensive or impractical it
is. God help anyone who makes a mistake or tells her that she
can't have what she wants, because she will eat you alive.
So what fuels the rage of Bridezilla? Stress.
Planning a wedding, especially large ones, can be
difficult. Many brides also have to contend with meddling
family members, budget constraints and time pressure along with
the usual demands of daily life such as a job and/or children.
Some women can handle the pressure, but others cannot and it
manifests in psychological or physical ways. Bridezillas can be
susceptible to mood swings, hysteria and irrational behavior
which begins to affect the other parts of her life. But it is
possible to avoid becoming a Bridezilla and having a
stress-free wedding by following these tips:
1. Stop obsessing over the little details. In their quest to
plan the perfect wedding, many brides forget that its the
ceremony itself that's important, not the trimmings. There's no
need to get into debt to create the perfect wedding. Spend your
money where it counts. Money is one of the most powerful stress
triggers, but careful spending will go a long way in easing
your worries. Remember that some things in life are free.
2. Compromise. There is great wisdom in the saying, “Two heads
are better than one.” Remember that you can't do it alone and
that you don't have the monopoly on good ideas. Be open for
suggestions. Ask your groom if he has any special requests that
can be incorporated to the ceremony.
3. Delegate. Some family members may feel that they have the
right to meddle with your wedding plans, which often leads to
many arguments and tears. This creates an atmosphere of tension
that can be extremely tedious and stressful. Try setting a
specific task to each person and let them know that you
appreciate their help. Deal with these people firmly and with
diplomacy and make sure that they understand that you and your
groom have the final say in all matters pertaining to the
wedding. If all else fails, consider hiring a wedding
planner.
4. Get organized. It pays to do a little research before
purchasing a service or item for the wedding. Try attending a
wedding-themed trade fair or similar gatherings for more
inspiration. Keep a notebook and calendar for matters
pertaining to the wedding, detailing what has been done and
what else needs to be done.
5. Take time off from the wedding frenzy. Go away for the
weekend with your groom, or treat your self to a spa date with
your friends. Do what helps you to relax and during that time,
avoid discussing or even thinking of your wedding plans.
Stepping back helps you regain a new perspective on the matter
and lessens your level of stress.
6. Let it go. There are just some things we can't control, like
the weather. Focus on what you can control, and maintain a
sense of humor. Laughing greatly increases your body's release
of endorphins, engendering a sense of wellbeing and decreasing
stress levels.
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